When speaking about differences between male and female brain, male chauvinists often mention topics such as 'backward parking' or understanding of the concept of 'offside' in football. Both of these things require imagination and a subtle sense of space that the fairer sex members sometimes forget about. For the first topic, there are specialized websites, we will deal with the latter one. So how to explain to your nicer half one of the biggest mysteries of the universe - what is it offside?
First of all, let's see why would we do that in the first place. Most of women in this world don't know what an offside is and this in no way undermines their happiness. On the other hand, would you, respected (male, in this case) reader, be delighted if your wife / girlfriend seized you with the desire to talk about importance of fitting shoes and handbags, or to, by all means, explain why is the shampoo with the additional effect of volume better than ordinary? Certainly not. However, there are situations when explaining offside to your beloved one is worth the effort.
First, sooner or later, situation will happen that in your company a football theme will be started, with presence of women. Believe me, it's a priceless feeling when your woman shows knowledge that other women do not dream about. Envy with which your comrades will look at you, could be compared with the primordial envy felt by some cavemen when one of their fellow warriors grabbed the saber-toothed tiger.
Explaining such a complicated idea, like the offside undoubtly is, is also a test for your relationship. This is a clear signal on whether if she listens to you carefully, and if she is able to sustain concentration in a situation where you are explaining things that are not primary for her. If you succeed, it will give you a great self confidence. Successfully explaining (by your side), and understanding the concept of offside (by her side), is one of the best signs of intimacy between women and men that can be found in nature.
The main thing is, though, that you, in the first place, know what offside is, and that you feel comfortable with that knowledge. It is usually considered that offside is a situation where a player who is on the opposing half of the field is being sent the ball, and that he was, at that moment, closer to the opposite goal-line than all the opposite players and the ball. If a player is in line with the opponent, there is no offside. Also, if a player who is offside clearly shows no intention to play with the ball or interferes with the opposing player, then offside is also not awarded. This ensures that the offensive team can continue the action without unnecessary interruptions due to inactive players.
Ok, that's what most of football fans already know. But how profound is this - the original (right) rule, which was introduced in the 1925th years and still in force, says the following - at the moment of passing the ball, in front of the striker there should be at least two opponents closer to their goal line! What does this mean? The most common is one of the opponents goalie, so we usually neglect him and look at only the one defensive player. But in a situation, that is frankly a rare, when the goalkeeper runs out of the box but the opponent attackers get the ball and pass it back to their teammate who is closer to the goal than the goalkeeper, and in front of him is just one defender - offside is awarded! And if you didn't know his, do not worry - many professional football players also forget about this catch, resulting in numerous protests and cartons.
I advise you, though, that you don't go into this much details when explaining the concept of offside to your partner. Do not forget - this is also test of your ability to explain the imaginary concept so that the other party can understand it. Choose the appropriate situation. Do not explain offside when she is tired, unhappy or deconcentrated in any way. The ideal situation is when you watch a football match on TV and she happens to be in the room and shows interest in the game. Once again I repeat - do not force anything. If you are aggressive, it would only cause resistance and your situation will go beyond recall. Choose one player, preferably one of the strikers (because they will most likely be in the offside), and preferably from local team. Then, tell her an anecdote or a scandal about him ("You see, he was arrested for drunken driving with a prostitute. His wife sought half of his property") . This will increase her interest. At the time of offside, especially if it was a good chance, the tension in the stadium will rise and she will probably hear protests from the stands (that's why it is good to pick striker of the home team - audience will be louder) which will further draw her attention. As the camera zooms assistant-referee, explain that the game was interrupted because the attacker was impatient and started prematurely to rush in. She will probably throw some sexist comment, but also may say the rule looks stupid. Tell her to imagine how football game without it would look like - all the attackers would be laid up close to the opposite goal, and the game itself practically would not exist. Tell her that the rule of offside may look dull, but that it is one of those things that keep the system going on.
If all goes well, you will get satisfaction in the form of feeling that you have done something to improve communication between the sexes. She will receive a new knowledge that will quickly be thrown in the back burner, because it will have no practical use for her, but she will not totally forget about it. She will realize that she is important to you, because a man would not bother to explain the offside to a girl with whom he doesn't feel particular closeness. If you find it difficult to tell her that you love her, at least try to explain her what is offside.
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